Lena Dunham Attacks Infertility Community: Fertility Doctor Reacts
I was dreading reading Lena Dunham’s recent reflection on her fertility. There has been a backlash to this piece from the fertility community and I was nervous about reading it myself. I waited until I could set aside time and read it thoughtfully.
Lena Dunham is a writer, director, and producer most well known for her acclaimed HBO Show, Girls, who has been open about her long term battle with endometriosis. After years and multiple treatments for chronic pain associated with the disease – she underwent surgery to remove her uterus, cervix, and one ovary in efforts to treat the pain. Her most recent article for Harper’s Magazine is ‘False Labor: Giving Up on Motherhood’ is a reflection on her time after the hysterectomy processing her inability to carry a baby and her attempt to make embryos via IVF with eggs from her remaining ovary. Of the 6 eggs retrieved – no embryos available to transfer to a surrogate to carry.
The piece, much like the writer, is polarizing.
Read the 2000+ comments on her Instagram post and you’ll see:
‘Thank you so much for this piece’
‘What a powerful piece – proud of you’
Read the response to some of her portrayal of the fertility industry and the #IVFwarriors online that post and support each other and you’ll hear:
‘Her tone is patronizing to the infertility community’
‘The community feels betrayed by her generalizations’
When I read her describe her doctor as ‘my entry into (and now exit from) the world of corporate reproduction’
I cringe but know there are patients that feel this way.
When I read her state ‘If there’s one person less welcome among the IVF Warriors than a new mother, it is a woman who has given up on becoming one’
I am saddened but know there are people that feel pushed out of the support they find as woman fighting infertility when their role changes pregnant or choosing a life without children.
When I read her ending ‘Bad eggs don’t hatch. You can’t bend nature. The irony is that knowing I cannot have a child – my ability to accept and move on – may be the only reason I deserve to be anyone’s parent at all. I think I finally have something to teach someone.’ I think she’s finding peace.
We can choose to pick apart her memoir piece by ugly piece
Or we can choose to learn from it and realize that infertility and it’s treatments are messy, full of hope mixed with grief and every emotion from devastation to elation.
I did not like this piece – it made me feel uncomfortable but it’s that the point
We all can learn from it, choose kindness, and realize everyone’s journey, reflection, and perceptions are valid and all a part of processing and moving towards peace.
Learn more about infertility and miscarriage with more blog posts at drlorashahine.com.
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